Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged
I’m not entirely sure how it happened, but the comments on this thread descended into a popularity contest, with us ranking the drivers by their “cool” factor.
My opinion has been sought, and whilst I am no authority on the subject, I’m always happy to compile lists.
There’s speculation as to who will top my list, whether it will be Jenson or Franck, but I have to clear something up before I start. My “cool” list is far removed from my “iHeart” list. It’s safe to say that if I find someone attractive, that doesn’t automatically make them cool. Trust me on this.
Also, there are apparently a couple of rules, in that they need to be current F1 drivers or reserve drivers, and it should be a top ten list.
So, here goes.
- Button
- Alonso
- Raikkonen
- Webber
- Rosberg
- Trulli
- Vettel
- Kovalainen
- Heidfeld
- Glock
That’s my list, you’ll notice Bourdais isn’t on there. He’s not cool, but oh so cute. I’m sure there’ll be plenty of agreement and disagreement out there, so love to hear your thoughts and lists in the comments.
One final thought, please don’t ask me to justify having Button at the top after watching this video:
Yes, it’s awful, but everyone deserves a second chance!
May 6th, 2008 at 12:06 amme said:
okay, i had to take a couple of minutes to get over that jenson video. jeeez, i’m not sure he’ll be anywhere on my list after that.
so, with some justification along the way, the ten coolest drivers:
1. alonso - for smashing up ron dennis’ immaculate motorhome in ‘07.
2. kimi - because of ‘that’ poker face and for not wilting in the schumacher shadow.
3. heidfeld - the beard is ridiculous, but kudos for carrying it off.
4. webber - just for telling it like it is.
5. vettel - for balling his eyes out in japan. a grown man crying is cool, right ladies?
6. nico - because he drives for williams, loses points for the haircut though.
7. kubica - if you have to crash, make it a spectacular one.
8. sato - for driving a million dollar car like he just nicked it.
9. bourdais - for even attempting to carry off a pair of red specs.
10. lewis - if it were me, i’d have jumped off a very high ledge post brazil.
May 6th, 2008 at 12:12 amlou said:
Ok my top ten (with some alterations as my other was top five)
1. Button
2. Raikkonen
3. Alonso
4. Rosberg
5. Kovalainen
6. Webber
7. Vettel
8. Heidfeld
9. Wurz
10 Davidson
What does that mean for ‘me’s cool status?
May 6th, 2008 at 12:15 amlou said:
lol it makes me laugh! Oh come now ‘me’, he should not be rated on that horrid piece of PR. lol I think i would have done the same if Honda were giving me the same wage!
May 6th, 2008 at 12:23 amme said:
oooooouch! i hadn’t read it like that.
but that is the definition of uncool isn’t it? if he were cool, he’d be saying:
“you’ll make me look like a right plonker if i sit on that bike, and then everyone will snigger when they see it on youtube.”
he’s cooler than rubens, no question. but i still can’t fit him in my top ten
May 6th, 2008 at 12:28 amJordan Allen said:
What a laugh.
Real “coolness” comes from being able to outdrive any and/or all of these F1 drivers in their F1 mounts using a ‘58 Plymounth Fury. Of course, you would have to drive the Fury like you are are possessed or the car is processed. In the second case, triple bonus points for dubbing the Fury “Christine”.
Jordan (Allen) f1.
May 6th, 2008 at 12:30 amlou said:
As Christine says ‘everyone deserves a second chance!’
The video on his website that was taken on the same day the advert was filmed. it shows him backstage talking about it etc. He seemed pretty cool then, he’s just not a good actor tis all. 
May 6th, 2008 at 12:32 amme said:
ahh, okay. not seen that one. i’ll go check.
May 6th, 2008 at 12:34 amlou said:
For the record, you seem pretty cool from podcasts/comments
Both you and Christine had one of my friends in fits of laughter the other day. I am trying to get her into Formula 1. I think she is comming round….well she is hopefully coming to Goodwood with me (i refuse to go alone) so i am trying to give her abit of education before hand. 
Her comments about sidepodcast (and the occational podcasts i get her to listen to) are - ‘they are so cool and very funny!’ 
May 6th, 2008 at 12:37 amJordan Allen said:
Hmmm, after watching that video, it appears that Honda has been more creative at punishing Button for publicly slamming them that I had thought….
Way to go Honda ad department….
Jordan (Allen) F1.
May 6th, 2008 at 12:47 amlou said:
I am pretty confused…if they were gonna punish him, they would have done it by now. The williams stuff was a while ago. Button gave Honda their first win. Thats good. To be honest, Jenson does a pretty good job at embarressing himself in adverts….you just need to look at the Seiko ‘born to race’ adverts he was in. :s not as bad, but still bad…
May 6th, 2008 at 12:52 amme said:
looking at the backstage stuff, it’s not his acting that gets me. it’s just the poor quality of the commercial. there’s loads and loads of people in that room, and that’s the best they can come up with?
if it were me, i’d ask them to think of another campaign. it is funny, but not cool.
by comparison, last years mercedes advert was cool (before the drivers fell out and ruined it). it was cool actually because mika was in the ad, but he wasn’t allowed in my top 10
May 6th, 2008 at 12:55 amme said:
me too. i can see jenson driving for that team until he leaves the sport. i didn’t get it for a very long time. but now i do.
i think the team need a decent graphics artist or design guru to help with the green trousers / dumbo ears, but apart from that, i say jenson made the right choice in the end.
May 6th, 2008 at 12:58 amlou said:
Yes good piont. I normally love the Honda adverts. They are normally really good. but this one….however it is aimed at a different audience…perhaps the Japanese will like the advert.
yes i agree that was a good advert! If past drivers were in the list then both Mika, and Jackie Stewart would definatly be in mine.
May 6th, 2008 at 1:02 amlou said:
I totally agree. He really does fit into Honda well. Very much like Schumy did in Ferrari. He has been with them for quite along time now, in comparision to other drivers, i can’t imagine him really fitting anywhere else.
May 6th, 2008 at 1:05 amJordan Allen said:
Patience, my young apprentice.
The ulimate punishment is having Button work on a Champioship wiining car, then dumping him on the eve of it racing. Honda is yet at that stage of development.
Jordan (Allen) F1.
May 6th, 2008 at 1:25 amPink Peril said:
My cool wall is as follows:
1. Alonso - sexiest eyes and best sideburns
2. Rosberg - for his “Calvin Klein advert” looks
3. Kimi - for his poker face and gorilla suit
4. Heidfeld - best accent on the grid - love the way he doesn’t say R right !
5. Heikki - for that cheeky grin
6. Webber - for being the token Aussie larrikin
7. Sato - just for being Sato
8. DC - for the comment he made about Massa & his questionable parentage
9. (now this is getting hard) Trulli - in his wild hair days
10. Nelsonho - just ‘cos he’s a pretty boy
Someone mentioned on the other thread about their friend being obsessed with Heikki’s name - I have a further question. What is the Finnish obsession with the letter “K”? Is it just a coincidence that all Finnish sports people have lots of K’s in their names, or do they do that deliberatly? Is it a rule or something?
I haven’t watched the Jenson video yet as I am at work and they have all these *stupid* rules about youtube, so I have left him off my list pending watching the video. That, and the half balding badger beard look he has currently got going.
May 6th, 2008 at 3:38 amme said:
everything you could ever want to know about finnish names:
http://koti.mbnet.fi/pasenka/names/about.htm
nothing about it there though. however, a quick look at some recent finnish rally drivers would lend weight to your theory:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Finnish_rally_drivers
May 6th, 2008 at 6:55 amSidepodcastFan said:
Archive old but always a cool picture
May 6th, 2008 at 1:28 pmJourneyer said:
Hmmm. Interesting. My top 10 would be:
1. Raikkonen
2. Rosberg
3. Hamilton
4. Button
5. Webber
6. Coulthard
7. Heidfeld
8. Vettel
9. Bourdais
10. Kovalainen
Special Mention: Sato. He’d have been there, but as of now, he’s not an F1 driver.
May 6th, 2008 at 1:55 pmme said:
oh shoot!
also, that’s two people now with DC in their top ten lists. did i miss something there? i thought he was funny on mr & mrs, but is he cool?
May 6th, 2008 at 3:35 pmPaulo - Brasil said:
The coolest factor for me is put the Alonzo´s ORGULLO down.
The top three
1. LEWIS (Send Mr Arrogance back to his papa…)
2. SATO (Oh, Canada in 2007. I cheered like hell for him on that pass)
3. NICK (Oh, Sepang in 2008…)
May 6th, 2008 at 4:09 pmme said:
for the pass on DC / FA?
May 6th, 2008 at 4:37 pmPaulo - Brasil said:
Yes…
May 6th, 2008 at 4:38 pmJourneyer said:
Sure, why not? He’s managed not only to stay this long - but also reinvent himself. From his former Williams and McLaren persona, I think we’re seeing more of the real DC - vocal and frank about what he believes in. And I think that’s cool.
And I haven’t even brought up Karen yet! Speaking of which, anyone knows where I can watch that mr and mrs episode? (Note: I’m not living in the UK).
May 6th, 2008 at 4:45 pmme said:
see, if we’re talking about cool overtaking moves by nick on alonso, then bahrain in ‘07 must rate amongst them too?
i’d find a video, but they’re all missing from youtube
May 6th, 2008 at 4:52 pmme said:
yup, can’t argue with that i guess.
i recommend the mr & mrs show, but i’ve no idea if anyone has a copy?
May 6th, 2008 at 5:26 pmPaulo - Brasil said:
“see, if we’re talking about cool overtaking moves by nick on alonso, then bahrain in ‘07 must rate amongst them too?…”
Agree… But considering how hard has been passing DC this season, I think that this is the collest!
May 6th, 2008 at 6:06 pmlou said:
So now only 20 cars on the grid. We are down to 3 British drivers
http://www.formula1.com/news/headlines/2008/5/7730.html
poor super aguri! Do i have to change my top ten now?
May 6th, 2008 at 6:09 pmme said:
tis very true.
so far as i can make out ian phillips was wrong about DC, otherwise it could’ve been just two.
May 6th, 2008 at 6:21 pmlou said:
Im glad he was wrong. Not sure where he was coming from to be honest. Thats why i asked everyone, cause surely they would not feel the need to suddenly dump DC after just 4 races.
May 6th, 2008 at 6:45 pmDan Brunell said:
Don’t worry, the press will only talk about one anyways. At least you have drivers, us in North America will continue to go wanting despite having a lot of talent that is being wasted in NASCAR.
Poor Super Aguri; we do need more teams on the grid and it looked like there were people interested in buying them. Was Honda embarrassed enough by last year’ performance to cut them out of spite? It not like Super Aguri was costing them that much in the grand scheme of things. Besides, whoever they sold it to, they could get a pretty decent engine deal out of it. If they took the approach that Red Bull is taking with Toro Rosso, I think they would of found someone to turn the team around.
Poor management Honda… no wonder the only championship you have won has been on the big screen.
May 6th, 2008 at 7:13 pmMichael Roberts said:
How is Nick Heidfeld not top of the list? Am I the only one to see this - http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=TRfCCYIv3EA?
May 6th, 2008 at 7:34 pmlou said:
ahaha! That made me laugh!
May 6th, 2008 at 8:29 pmLadySnowcat said:
Drivers who are cool…
Hmmm….
Top ten is tricky but I’ll try….
1 Kimi
2 Kimi
3 Kimi
4 Kimi
5 Kimi
6 Kimi
7 Kimi
8 Kimi
9 Kimi
10 Kimi
The others come basically…. nowhere in the “cool” stakes….
They are great or good drivers I accept…but actually cool…. no way…
Sorry Christine but you’ve even got Nick Heidfeld as cool ….Noooooo…..
PS Just realised that you were having a joke on us all… weren’t you?….
May 6th, 2008 at 8:50 pmRich said:
Here is my list of the coolest F1 drivers with my reason with some video evidence (that you might not have seen)
1 ) Jenson Button – for handling Jeremy Clarkson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRG8Io3upyo
2 ) Fernando Alonso – for costing McLaren $100 000 000
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7pp21-fvsI
3 ) Nick Heidfeld – for his patience in doing this silly photoshoot
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJ-7FqTPdUU
4 ) Vitantonio Liuzzi – for just being natural
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vv6Rq84OUiI
5 ) Jarno Trulli – for producing his own wine from his own vineyards
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Me7uJltQEvA
6 ) Mark Webber – for getting into the kitchen of his own restaurant
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0-jzXHGk0Q
7 ) Kimi Raikkonen – for being honest in an interview
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK3BrGOIwxI
8 ) Heikki Kovalainen for doing the Stig’s job
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6hkkRJ4Fjw
9 ) Giancarlo Fisichella for owning (and showing) his cool boat
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmA73oPGn1Y
10 ) Nico Rosberg for being last in my list
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mNRx8cy6KQ
May 6th, 2008 at 8:52 pmNelson said:
1) Massa
2) Raikkonen
3) Kubica
4) Kovalainen
5) Heidfeld
6) Alonso
7) Barrichello
8) Fisichella
9) Webber
10) Rosberg
May 6th, 2008 at 11:57 pmJordan Allen said:
Here’s my hard-nosed (a la Frank Williams lsit for cool drivers)
Reason: Wining races makes one cool. Losers get a “sad puppy face” that girls think its cool, but is not.
1) Michael Schumacher ==> 91 wins.
2) Fernando Alsonso ==> 19 wins
3) Kimi Raikkonen ==> 17 wins
4) David Coulthard ==> 13 wins
5) Rubens Barrichello ==> 9 wins
6) Felipe Massa ==> 6 wins
7) Lweis Hamilton ==> 5 wins
8) Jarno Trulli ==> (Wiining at Monaco is cool)
9) Jenson Button ==> (winning at Hungary should only count as half a win).
No body else of the current drivers has a race win. To fill the 10th spot, I picked Sakon Yamamoto whois cool because with him on the race track, all the other drivers feared (and rightfully so) for their personal safety….
10) Sakon Yamamoto.
May 7th, 2008 at 1:21 amAlianora La Canta said:
Giancarlo Fisichella has three race wins, which I believe puts him at #8 on Jordan’s list, even if he decides they’re only half-wins for some reason. This also means he doesn’t have to put a driver who isn’t even on the grid any more at #10 (I know the one at #1 isn’t on the grid any more either, but I still occasionally come across people who think he’s the defending world champion…)
May 7th, 2008 at 9:01 amme said:
yeah, i was gonna point that out, but christine did say reserve drivers too, and he sort of is massa’s reserve driver
May 7th, 2008 at 11:54 amJourneyer said:
If that’s the case, I’d put him tops on my list! Just ahead of Kimi. Too bad that’d put Heikki out of the list though… even if he WAS the Stig for a day.
May 7th, 2008 at 1:00 pmNONSENSE said:
I’d put Sato on top of any list because I hear there are protests going on in Japan next to Honda’s HQ, hoi polloi is demanding the continuation of the SA team ’cause they want to see Taku back in action.
Demonstration in favour of F1 driver? That’s unheard of. A miracle.
Maybe only Jos Verstappen fans did something similar.
May 7th, 2008 at 3:35 pmJordan Allen said:
Hey: Schuie’s really a test driver for Ferrari, they have just givien him a fancier job title that’s all.
I really wanted to include Fisichella on the list, as he does have the three wins, but Yamamoto’s utter lack of driving abilities and kamikaze tactics had made him the terror of the race track, even more feared than Schumacher! Now that’s cool to a whole new level.
Trulli and Button have equal wins (1 each) but how in the world can a win in Monaco equal a win in Hungary in terms or skill or coolness? The Essense of Monaco are the unforgiving Steel Barriers, where as in Hungary, you have acres of gravel traps to have a decent chance of getting back on track. And what is the nickname for Hungary? “Monaco without the barriers”. So Hungary has all the problems of Monaco ==> short lap times, tons of turns, no overtaking and without the barriers that makes Monaco the supreme test of driver’s skill. Just ask the drivers themselves, “Where do they want to win?” Even Zolt Baugartner will place Monaco above Hungary.
Oh boy, the Japanese are demanding that Sato have a ride again. Last time this happened, Super Aguri was born. Looks like Honda going to have bump off either Button or Barrichello to make way for Sato. So if “me”’s lucky, there’s a 50/50 chance that Christine’s going be upset. I placed the odds at 55/45 that’s Christine’s going to be upset. I be nervous if I was me.
Well, 2 British drivers is 2 more drivers than North America has….
Jordan (Allen) F1
May 7th, 2008 at 3:38 pmAlianora La Canta said:
The only other one I can think of from the top of my head was when The Sun asked British readers to protest Nigel Mansell’s dumping by Williams in 1992, and a bunch of supporters of “Our Nige” stood outside the Williams factory. Made no difference to the decision, but at least they tried…
May 7th, 2008 at 6:11 pmthe infamous ground hog which cost ANT a top five result said:
Hmm, didn’t know about that.
May 7th, 2008 at 10:55 pmAlianora La Canta said:
I might add that the campaign didn’t work and Frank Williams stuck to his initial plan of putting in Prost and an understudy in 1993…